You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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