Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
