I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
MIDGETS
????
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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