Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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