just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
