im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
