Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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