I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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