I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
