I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
