You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
