You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
