A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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