I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize