You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
