Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
