So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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