Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
