So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
