It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
There r osticjed everywhere
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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