im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
