How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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