I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
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just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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