so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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