he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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