Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
