GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
