If that was your dad, he is hot
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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