Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
