I'm jealous of your bromance
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
