She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
