my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
whose ass print is on the piano?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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