ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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