I want to have your abortion
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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