I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
