i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
