my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
