I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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