Apparently you make a good broom.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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