I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
