Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
