Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
