Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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