The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
