I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
