In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
