Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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