ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
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The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
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Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.