That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
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A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
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Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.