I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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