he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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