I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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