Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
