So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
