watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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