does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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