oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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