We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
