I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Michael Bay diarrhea
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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