Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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