I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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