Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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